While the Adamawa state house of assembly is busy putting finishing touches to its attempt to impeach the incumbentgovernor Boni Haruna, our dear Boni is busy shedding tears before the Lord as Yakubu Gowon and other religious pretenders attempt to bribe God on his behalf.

The legislators had earlier served Boni with an impeachment notice for alleged gross misconduct and inability to perform the functions of office as demanded by the 1999 Constitution. Other honorables also accused the Governor of "anti-party" activities, an euphemism for any excuse to get rid of a sitting incumbent who has refused to play ball.
The issue however is not in the legitimacy of the alleged offences of the governor, rather it is the increasingly alarming manner that our "leaders" have chosen to respond to various allegations leveled against them. Rather than prove his critics wrong with proof of his 8 yr stewardship to the people of Adamawa state, Boni has chosen to distract us by shedding tears in the house of God. Yakubu Gowon and his ragtag army of hired prayer warriors promptly responded to Boni's crisis by holding a prayer service to "pray against his impeachment by the state house of assembly".

As at 2005, 6 yrs after Boni promised the people of Adamawa state the dividends of democracy, there are no good motorable roads, electricity supply is eratic, water supply is non-existent, medical services have collapsed, schools have since relocated to the shelter of trees with poorly equiped teachers and inadequate teaching materials. Yet Boni has taken the fight against his impeachment to the Lord in prayer. Pray, can Boni claim that the legislators do not have a valid reason to kick him out of office for failing the people he swore to protect? There are no viable industries in Yola, civil service is merely an opportunity for the governors friends to "come and chop", nothing works in Yola and yet Boni is busy pleading with God to spare him the ignominy of an impeachment.

If indeed Boni and his band of "prayer warriors" are sure his hands are clean, why has he refused to take the matter to the court of public oppinion? Let Boni tell us what he has spent the last 7 yrs doing for the people of Adamawa state then maybe we too can join hands in begging God to avert the sword of impeachment dangling over his head. Until then he should be rest assured that God is not listening to those who have slaughtered the future of the masses on the alter of greed and corruption.
Let him stop using crocodile tears and God's name to distract us from the most important question here.

There is but one question every male will have to ask at one point in his life; "What really do women want"?
Does a woman mean whatever she says? Is there a dictionary that could serve as a guide to knowing the inner workings of this handiwork of the matchless artwork of the creator?Unfortunately, perhaps women are one of the few inhabitants of nature that come without a user manual. Man is left fiddling with buttons hoping to figure out some way to understand this complex creature without whom life as we know it would be virtually impossible.

Women are all around us, they are our wives, mothers, sisters, friends, cousins yet we know so little them. We do not know what they want, how they think,what they feel. They say one thing when they mean the exact opposite, they dance in and out of our lives, a few leave us satisfied, the vast majority leavingus pondering if women are a vocation worthy of spending a lifetime studying since they are determined to leave us out in the cold.

When a woman talks about love, she means it in a thousand ways different from that of the average man. When a woman asks to be left alone, you are left wondering if she is actually saying this is the moment she needs you the most. Women do not come with a warranty, it is impossible to return them to their maker when they become faulty, they are one "purchase" with a clear warning label on them; "use of this product comes at your own risk".
Yet every man is more than willing to trot to the "store" to make his own "purchase".

When we are born we ask the same question, when we return to the grave there shall be that one question still on our lips, unanswered, unsolved, and no closer to the answer than when we first asked; "what really do women want"?

While you’re reading this, Nigeria’s ceremonial vice president is on his way to report his country’s “undemocratic” attempt to prevent him from seeking the highest office in the land.
EFCC recently turned justice on its head by declaring several of Baba’s political enemies as standing accused of defrauding the people with Athiefu Abubakar as the prime target. Baba himself has declared that the issue of the forthcoming presidential election is one of “life and death” for the PDP. In other words, it does not matter what the people want, a man with kidney failure and a former assistant to a rogue have been “anointed” as Nigeria’s new looters in chief of the Nigerian treasury come May 29.

A few weeks ago, Atiku went to report his “enemies” to “prominent US government officials” now he is on his way to solicit the help of our former colonial masters. Why has he refused to bring his grievances to the court of the people of Nigeria? Are American and British officials going to vote in our elections? Could it be that even he knows that in Nigeria’s unique nascent democracy, the people don’t really matter?

Why has he refused to prove his innocence in the face of the corruption charges rather choosing to sidestep the issue by blaming faceless detractors? Who is telling the truth? Atiku or the EFCC? Do the people have no right to know that those parading themselves as presidential aspirants are truly men of integrity?

Why must Atiku be president at all costs? Even at the cost of his honor and integrity?

I had my first satisfactory lab meeting yesterday after about 5 attempts and other ingenious attempts at avoiding having to do it. From now on, public speaking na carry go!

Barak Obama has finally thrown his hat into the ring, for the first time America will have to choose between two historical firsts, a first American woman president or the first black president of the world’s greatest super power. The contest is sure to deepen as the year draws to a close with the war on Iraq the biggest political trump card. With that, the Bush bashing brigade continues.

Tomorrow is supposedly a day for love. Love ko, hate ni. Maybe there shall be many red roses In the lab tomorrow, woman plenty for this our end. I shall not bother to go near the malls, it would be too depressing.

Strangely I seem to have run into a mammoth crowd of women suffering from PMS. Is there no way it can be labeled on faces so we can avoid them?

I hear Baba and Atiku are still slugging out over who becomes commander in thief of the Nigerian public treasury come democracy day 2007. Long may their fight continue!

Did I forget to update you on the bachelorette thingy? The votes have been rigged!

Ok if you have not been getting your daily dose of laughter, abeg visit the bachelorette competition that has been taking the Nigerian blogosphere by storm.

Kudos to DiAmOnDHawk for the ingenius idea, once more my enthusiasm for Naija blogosphere has been rekindled after a few months of smoldering ashes.

9 unknown bachelors are supposed to be fighting for the hands of our dear bachelorette in an intense competition aimed at bringing out the best in the art of wooing a woman with literary skills. If you have ever seen the bachelor or the bachelorette on TV, then this show is meant for you.

Don’t just sit here readiing this, go there and vote! Vote rigging dey there o, I hereby call on INEC to cancel this “election”, disqualify all other bachelors and declare bachelor # ….. the winner. Most of the bachelors there are corrupt, they have looted the treasury and are accused of disloyalty! Lol!

Keep fingers crossed, this indeed are good times. Perhaps I might just nip over there to steal one of those delectable naija babes. Who talk say Nigerians are not the happiest people in the world?

Ghana 4 Nigeria 1

That was the screaming headline the day after the Black Stars of Ghana officially took over the reigns as the best national football team in Africa after many years of a wobbling and fumbling performance from the wingless chickens who owe more to the nationality of “God” than to their own individual brilliance for their long reign on the throne.
Within 8 minutes, we were rudely awoken from our slumber; suddenly we realized that most of our “stars” were no better than an overhyped, overpaid and undisciplined bunch of rag tag individuals. For those of us who could see beyond the occasionally “God” inspired pyrrhic victories, the hand writing had been on the wall for a long time. Losing to Angola away, struggling to score against a weakened Ghana side that had more than 2 of their first eleven out, huffing and puffing to an unconvincing home victory against Niger republic, we all knew it was a matter of time before we were firmly put in our place by a disciplined side.
While nations like Rwanda, Togo and the Faroe Islands were busying themselves with meaningless friendlies, our FA bosses were busy squabbling over handing over notes. Only in Nigeria do employers go searching for their employees, we all knew it had more to do with estacodes than actually finding us a “world class” technical adviser.
Now even “God” Himself has decided to have no further part in our planless staggering from one competition to the other relying more on individual brilliance than actual team effort. Galadima once told us it was not our birthright to qualify for the world cup while he himself attempted to make the FA chairmanship his own birthright. Now we have realized that we no longer have a monopoly of “God”, that other nations too are busy praying while doing the right thing to ensure success.
At the rate our sports is descending to an all time low, even Benin Republic will fancy beating us in our backyards very soon. Those prone to heart attacks have since stopped watching the wingless chickens play football, the rest of us are no longer bothered to put ourselves through an excruciating 90mins praying to a “God” who has chosen to pitch his tent with those who care to plan.

For the last 40 or so odd years, Nigerians have had to endure ridicule in the hands of its leaders/looters who have always mouthed the weather-beaten refrain of keeping Africa as the focus of her foreign policy. It is no longer news that such a policy is in itself foreign to Nigerians.
During the oil boom of the 1970s, rather than plan ahead for the future, visionless leaders imposed on us through the barrel of the gun preferred to spend our oil boom paying salaries of civil servants in Guinea and Haiti! Today, even those countries have better social infrastructure than we do. Our educational sector has collapsed, our taps are dry, electric bulbs are mere monuments, roads are death traps and hospitals have become mortuaries for those ready to make the transition from their painful existence to the grave.
While millions of Nigerians continue to flood the already over-saturated “labor” market, Pfizer is downsizing its operations in Nigeria and Michelin has announced the closure of its Port Harcourt plant. The result is more hardship for the over 70% of Nigerians who were already living below the poverty line.
While we spend endless time and money trying to export peace to our African brothers the Niger Delta rages with daily violence and kidnappings, while our soldiers were dying in their thousands in Sierraleone and Liberia, armed robbers and assassins were having a field day at home.
For a country that generates less than 10% of its daily energy needs, the news that we have just signed an agreement to cushion Ghana’s energy crisis comes as no longer news. We have long since realized that government is really not about the people, it is about the grandiose egos and the bank accounts of those who are shouting at the top of their lungs about corruption and democracy.
While we continue to make Africa the cornerstone of our alien policy, those same countries have Nigeria at the bottom of their list of countries to take seriously. Well except when we offer to once again help them pay their civil servants!