It is not every day that we get to assess the cerebral ability of those who parade the corridors of power, claiming to be servants of the people while they trample rough-shod over the rights of the hapless masses.
For a man who has been under the scrutiny of the media for all the wrong reasons, it is not surprising that Andy Uba himself has chosen to fight his battles by turning to his media spin doctors. Unfortunately, rather than clear the air surrounding the allegations that have trailed his recent “anointing” as the governor-in-waiting for Anambra state, Andy chooses the way of deceit, parading himself as the servant of a people whose future he and the cabal at Aso Rock have helped to mortgage.

In a recent article in the Guardian Newspapers, Andy had this to say; “it is crystal clear that there is nothing dear to our people as a leadership dedicated to ministering to their needs. They want leaders who truly see themselves as servants of the people, rather than imperial lords.” Is Andy Uba aware that his own brother whom he “affectionately” refers to as the godfather of Anambra politics has paraded himself as an imperial Lord over the mandates of Anambrarians? Was this not the same man who watched silently while a sitting governor was abducted under mysterious conditions?
Andy Uba echoes the mentality of the average Nigerian when he says; “It is a pity that there are still people in the political class who seek power not to do good or fight for the common good, but for self-aggrandisement. All this is in spite of the Federal Government's spirited effort since 1999 to create a new social order by fighting corruption and abuse of power with all the resources at its disposal. The understanding of political power by some politicians does not go beyond amassing wealth and living like conquerors of their own people.”
Perhaps Andy would like to explain what his role in government has been beyond self-aggrandisement and wanton looting of the treasury. It is hypocritical that the same Andy who is preaching about corruption has yet to explain why he chose to spend $170,000 to buy a car in a country where 70% of the population live on less than $1 a day. Can Andy himself come to equity with clean hands?

Nigerian politicians have created an artificial chasm between them and the people they purport to “serve”. They do not drive on the roads they collectively helped to ruin, they do not visit our mortuaries aka primary health care centers, their children are spread all over the best schools in Europe and America and yet these same hypocrites demand our votes every four years promising us heaven on earth. To them, dividends of democracy do not go beyond providing free eye glasses, constructing a few blocks of classrooms without adequate books, qualified or well-paid teachers.
When Andy Uba blames other politicians for creating an artificial “us versus them” mentality, he forgets that his sacred cow status as a stooge of our dictatocratic president already allows him a priviledged status for which he is taking full advantage.

Andy Uba does ask a pertinent question when he wonders why the critical Nigerian civil society, including the media, have kept mute in the face of political abuse of power. Thanks to the same media he has chosen to malign, we now know the true face of the likes of Andy Uba who are only pretending to court the people in a bid to continue raping the treasury. Thanks to the media, we now know that Andy was once a convict in the USA, did not obtain the Phd he flaunts around and would not think twice about breaking the laws he has sworn to protect to ensure his personal comfort at the expense of the people. Rather than keep wondering where the media has been, Andy would be better advised to answer the various questions posed by the media on his own integrity.
Andy has “vowed” to do away with unnecessary titles that have become the hallmark of those who purport to “serve” the people. Let us remind him that governance is more than refusing to accept titles, it is about improving the lives of the people who have entrusted him with their votes.
There is one thing one is wont to agree with Andy Uba on, the fact that we need an urgent paradigm shift. A paradigm shift away from two-faced hypocrites like Andy Uba.

Nigerians love to pray! On the streets, in the church, mosque, shrines, at home, while travelling, eating, sleeping, stealing public funds, mismanaging our national resources, collecting bribe at illegal road blocks, every where a Nigerian is praying.God has become the sole property of the federal republic of Nigeria, unfortunately rather than being the focus of a nation deeply in search of spiritual renewal, He has become the last resort of the common man struggling desperately to brave the storm of official indolence, corruption and gross ineptitude.

When over 500 people died in our air coffins, we promptly blamed the devil and reported the matter to God. It does not matter that our roads are no better than death traps, that our public transport system is made up of dangerous metallic contraptions, that armed robbers are better trained than our unfed policemen, that our students spend more time at home than in the classroom, that street hawking is now considered bonafide employment; we do not care, we would rather kneel down in prayer than tackle our fundamental problems.

While we are busy praying, Aso Rock is presently engulfed in a bitter power tussle that is more about access to the public till than service to the people. While we are praying, Atiku is busy cooling his heels in the USA trying to bribe his way into office. While we are busy on our knees with our eyes firmly closed, hoodlums have hijacked our oil fields, cows and goats are being counted as part of the population and the public treasury emptied into private bank accounts. Each time our nation is plunged into a tragedy that is a direct consequence of our ineptitude, our leaders "mourn", "vow" and urge us to pray while we wait anxiously for the next disaster.While we struggle with candles to read our bibles and qurans, Ghana has celebrated more than 6 years of uninterrupted power supply.

Gowon took us to the precipice of collapse during a 3 yr civil war and destroyed our regional system of government replacing it with parasitic and non viable states that have become a huge burden on our oil reserves, yet he leads a renegade band of political jobbers urging us to pray. After 8 years presiding over a civilian militocracy, baba will return to the classroom to learn how to pray.

Religion has been described as the opium of the people. It is not really that Nigeria is a nation of spiritual people, it is simply because our (s)elected representatives have failed us that we look towards our last source of hope; God!Unfortunately it is those same leaders who are urging us the loudest to take our self-inflicted problems to the Lord in prayer!

According to the 1991 census figures, Kano state was purported to have a population of 5,632,040 while that of Lagos was put at 5,685,781.Since 1991, Jigawa state has been carved out of the old Kano state. According to population figures for 2005, Kano and Jigawa states have a combined population of 13,732,331 – an amazing growth rate of 143.83% in less than 15 years! Lagos on the other hand could only manage a meager 58.53% within the same time frame.

According to UN estimates, Lagos was estimated to have a population of 13.4million in 1999 and 23.2million inhabitants in the year 2015! While Lagos is predicted to become one of the world’s most populous cities in the next 10 years, the UN apparently seems to have overlooked Kano and Jigawa states, perhaps the only places in the world with the most phenomenal growth rates! High infant and maternal mortality, low life expectancy, poverty and death rate does not seem to have affected these “special” states.
This census is indeed about development, it has NOTHING to do with the illegality of revenue sharing!

Welcome to Nigeria!

I don’t feel like working this week… praps the work bug is still on vacation and is taking a while to get used to doing much more than eating and sleeping.

Nairaland is becoming a boring place. The stimulating topics are no more; the engaging individuals who once made it my favorite watering hole are long gone replaced by inanities, little boys pretending to be men, women with claws sharper than cats and religious bigots already sharpening their canes to beat their wives “lightly”.

Nigeria just scored one more first! We are the first nation to stand human logic on its head; thanks to Makama and his ojoro census there are more people in the desert than live in tropical rain forest regions!

Alhaji Athiefu Abubacha is still on “holiday” in a country where his hosts are busy trying to better the lives of their citizens. While the storm of his illegal cross-carpeting rages on, the dishonorable vice-president is busy wasting public funds and plotting his return to power to continue with his rigorous routine of sleeping on the job!
In six months time, baba will be packing his textbooks and heading for the classroom. After 8 yrs at the helm of our nascent civilian militocracy, he will be handing over to a 62 yr old anointed president with kidney problems.
Yar’Adua has “vowed” there will be no sacred cows during his tenure, were did I hear that song before? Was it not some certain sacred chickens who smuggled him in as the presidential aspirant of the People’s Destruction Party?

I heard the CBN is finally introducing new naira notes next month. About time they did that, our cross carpeting political prostitutes are tired of lugging large Ghana-must-go bags to buy votes and political office.

I’m in a weird mood I haven’t felt for more than 2 yrs now, the kind of mood that comes around when a woman is on my mind. God dey!

Now to borrow the new buzz word around the lab, I’m just going to “bugger off” and pretend to get some work done!

"…like Nigerians who don't know how to count themselves".
- Kahinda Otafiire, Uganda

After months of uncertainty, intrigues and political gerrymandering, an amorphous cabal known as the National Council of States has approved the “official” census figures submitted by the National Population and “ojoro” Commission (NPC).
According to the mythical figures, Kano state has the highest population with 9.38 million people thumping Lagos state with a meager 9.01 million citizens. This result alone is another sad reminder that we as a nation have not learnt anything from our past political misadventures. Despite the quick recourse to “one Nigeria”, we are still a “nation” in search of its soul.
Pray, what kind of census portrays Kano as being more populous than Lagos state? Where cows and goats mistakenly counted? Who are those phantoms in Kano? Where are the seaports, banks, oil companies and various industries that make Lagos the eldorado of the unemployed situated in Kano? Are there groundnut pyramids that we have failed to see?

How did we end up with more males than females?

Once again while we make ourselves the laughing stock of the whole world, throw billions of naira down the drain in the name of a fraud of a census, we only succeed in conjuring mysterious numbers to perpetuate the illegality called revenue sharing. This is the legacy that the military has bequeathed to us, an unworkable civilian millitocracy that benefits a tiny ruling cabal. They are the only ones who cannot see that we are presently at the precipice of collapse.