Saturday, December 30, 2006
Reflecting on 2006!
I pinched this off SGL's blog, have fun!!!

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? I can't tell you!! It wasn’t necessarily a good thing whichever way you look at it.
2. Did you keep any New Year's Resolutions? What a waste of time.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My cousin! She was only 15!!!
4. Did anyone close to you die? None.
5. Did you visit any countries? I looked longingly at the skylines of Toronto.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? A car, a steady girlfriend/fiancée, an Xbox.
7. Will any date from 2006 stay etched in your memory forever? Not really
8. What was your biggest achievment of 2006? I finally realized I could achieve my dream of being a scientist.
9. What was your biggest failure? I hurt my dad.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Just a bit of the flu.
11. What was the best thing you bought in '06? My laptop that I fondly refer to as “my machine”! It’s my most precious possession, virtually all my life revolves around it.
12. Did your behavior change over the year? I have learned to stand up for myself. I think I grew a little impatient.
13. Where did you spend most of your money? Gas and electric, cable, wireless internet service, phone bills.
14. Are you happier than this time last year? Not really, more satisfied would be more like it.
- Thinner or fatter? I gained more pounds, I’m no longer skinny!!!
- Richer or poorer? No difference.
15. What song will remind you of 2006? None really, I listened mostly to older hits.
16. What do you wish you would have done more of? My spirituality!!
17. What do you wish you would have done less of? Working too hard, I lost my first girlfriend because I was too busy for her.
18. What did you do for Christmas '06? Visited family friends for a party after opening presents with my cousins.
19. Did you fall in love in 2006? In and out of love.
20. Did you get your heart broken in 2006? Not exactly
21. Favorite TV program of '06? I was perpetually tuned to Fox soccer channel
22. Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year? No one. Except sista who made me upset.
23. What was the best book you read and/or movie you saw? I don’t dig movies that much, as for books I busied myself with journals and textbooks.
24. What was your greatest discovery? I found out I had problems with staying in love with foreign girls!
25. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? I did nothing but go to work!! I was 24!
26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A girl who could bear my work schedule.
27. What kept you sane? GOD!
28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2006? Anything, so long as I got to the lab.

friends,
29. Who was the best new person you met? Ryan.
30. Who did you wish you did not meet? She lives in buffalo!
31. Who was your best friend? My 4 best friends still have their spot in my heart. I love u guys!!!!
32. Who was your enemy? None, it would be a waste of time.
33. Who do you miss? I miss my mom, my immediate younger brother, my former girlfriend (she taught me what it meant to love!), my best friends!
34. Who will you never forget? Babygirl!
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Wherever you are, home always will be the best! Never take a woman for granted!
36. What will you always remember about 2006? A chequered love life! I never wish to repeat same again!

aspirations for 2007,
37. What do you want to do in '07 that you couldn't/didn't in '06? Get a steady girlfriend, attend a science conference, go to Canada, pass my qualifying exams, get good reviews on my spring seminar.
38. Any resolutions? I would have forgotten by day 2!
39. Do you want to make more friends in 2007? Yes of course!
40. Anything you want to change about yourself for 2007? Be more outgoing!
 
posted by david at 3:44 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 3 comments
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Sheriff and the foot-in-mouth disease
Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. In Nigeria, governance has become synonymous with personal enrichment and power is now a euphemism for total disdain and unmatched disservice to the people.
Power makes our leaders invisible to the people, they live in a fantasy world where inflation is only 8% and white elephant projects are heralded as democratic dividends.
Our leaders are also notorious for contracting the highly contagious foot-in-mouth disease, a chronic condition whose symptoms include a god-complex and a gross disconnect between the mouth and the brain. Fani Kayode taught us why money, power and respect for elders do not go together, Frank Nweke reiterated the inconsequentiality of Nigerians in diaspora while Baba has since invented abusing his vice president as a national past time.

No one aptly embodies the utter disregard Nigerian leaders hold their people than the Borno state Governor Alhaji Ali Modu Sheriff. While responding to allegations of his administration’s bad publicity, Sheriff declares:

“A lot of falsehood has been published over the years in newspapers about my government and I never lose sleep over them. Because less than five percent of Borno people can read and understand what is written in newspapers,”

While the world continues to develop at an alarming rate, Sheriff is proud to declare that he has spent 8yrs presiding over a state with a 95% illiteracy level. Sheriff does not need to lose sleep over allegations of corruption, government ineptitude, legislative indolence and abandoned projects afterall his subjects are not literate enough to understand how government should be run. Sheriff is not bothered about the people, they are only useful once in 4 yrs when he has to run a campaign of lies in order to canvass for their mandates after which they are promptly forgotten and left to wallow in ignorance.
Sheriff forgets to tell us what he has done with his “share” of the national cake meant for educating his people neither does he clear the air on the allegations of corruption leveled against his administration.

Thanks to Sheriff and his ilk, Nigeria presently has a literacy level of less than 50%, Nigeria has 79% of the world’s polio cases and the spread of HIV/AIDS is rapidly on the rise. VVF, high infant and maternal mortality, child marriages, unemployment, remain the major contributions of these illiterates to the ill-fated “One Nigeria” project actively championed by Sheriff and his northern friends.
Sheriff does not need to worry about the literacy level in his state, afterall it does not in any way affect the size of his “share” of the national cake, baked and served on the backs of more illustrious fellow Nigerians.
It is this same reason Sheriff and his band of robbers in political office have successfully used the imposition of the sharia law as a tool to manipulate the Federal Government; this same illiterates are happy to kill Christians based on cartoons they have not seen! They do not need to see them, less than 5% of them can read and understand what is there!
 
posted by david at 5:23 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 1 comments
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
…of politics and scarcity in the midst of plenty.
While the whole world was wishing each other a merry Christmas, 200 innocent Nigerians were paying the price for government inefficiency, ineptitude and corruption in another pipeline explosion. As usual government officials are busy issuing the usual “vows” to investigate the self-inflicted tragedy, some are “saddened” and others are busy “mourning”.
While the rest of the citizenry grapple with trekking to work no thanks to a scarcity of fuel generated from crude oil of which Nigeria is the world’s sixth largest producer, the more fortunate ones have had to purchase fuel from the black market at the cost of N250 per liter.

The chairman editorial board of Thisday newspapers, Mr. Godwin Agbroko was recently murdered by armed robbers in broad day light. Mr. Ehindero has also “vowed” to bring the killers to book, maybe after Bola Ige’s phantom killers have been found.

While all these is going on, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar is cooling his feet in the USA on “holidays”, Baba and the aides to the VP are busy fighting over a post that would soon be declared vacant in 6 months time and our (s)elected representathieves have since deserted their duty posts in order to pursue the “people’s mandate”. 8 yrs into our ever nascent “democracy”, we are still without power, water, good roads, quality healthcare and good education. Employment is non-existent, our aviation system has collapsed, social infrastructure is lying prostrate and yet those who put us in this very situation are angling to return to their “duty” posts come May 2007.
While our leaders play politics, the nation burns and inches closer to the precipice of collapse, yet these same leaders trump up non-existent achievements and abandoned projects as dividends of democracy.
While 200 innocent Nigerians lie in the burnt fields of unfulfilled dreams and dashed hopes, Frank Nweke continues to waste resources “promoting” a charade meant to burnish Nigeria’s tattered image on the world map. Perhaps he has forgotten that a few charred bodies speak much more than a thousand flowery words that hold no substance.

Once Umaru Dikko, one of Nigeria’s most erudite kleptocrats, told us he had never seen Nigerians eating from the rubbish heaps, now our fellow country men have been reduced to dying on rubbish heaps.
 
posted by david at 2:26 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 3 comments
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Brian Ross and those really chopping dollars...
Brian Ross says:
1. Most Lagosians are illiterate - there is no point correcting this obvious lie! As usual, as an American, he automatically assumes he is the fountain of all the world's statistics.
2. Crime-ridden city? - At least in Lagos, kids are yet to come to school with guns to shoot their classmates and teachers, pedophiles are not running amok on our streets and we dont have to deal with terrorists!
3. We earn less than $1 a week? - Even as a student, i spent that on food a day!
4. Disgrace of a city? - Is New Orleans a part of Lagos?

Dear Brian Ross, what of putting those would be money launderers erroneously refered to as "victims" in jail for attempting to scam poor "third world nations" of millions of unearned dollars? What if Dr. Sloan had truly been able to "wash" the construction paper? Would he have hopped to ABC to report those he now refers to as scammers? What of the girl looking to reap $50,000 she did not work for? What of Swiss banks that have continued to connive with corrupt African leaders to scam us of our foreign reserve? What of the world bank that continues to scam us by "lending" billions of dollars to corrupt leaders only to turn around and demand more than 100x that amount in bogus debt? Has the US finished scamming the Iraqis in that crime-ridden disgrace of a city, Baghdad?

Did Brian Ross have to waste money coming to catch petty cyber crooks when US legislators are sleeping with teenage boys, the likes of Jack Abramoff are scamming Americans in the name of lobbying, Enron is burning and the Katrina relief fund is still riddled in fraud?
What of the Europeans who scammed our ancestors by giving them broken mirrors in exchange for our priceless artworks, gold, oil, slaves? Are these same people not scamming Nigerians in the Niger Delta? Destroying our farmlands and waterways and stealing our oil in connivance with the scam artists in power?

Indeed Brian, a little more "investigative" reporting would have revealed the scam artists posing as companies involved in the rebuilding of Iraq but who are merely cashing in on the lawlessness to reap where they did not sow.
We do not celebrate scammers, we only wonder why it is refered to as scam when it has to do with a "third world country" and harmless "lobbying" when it happens in the USA.
 
posted by david at 12:29 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 6 comments
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Dem dey chop our naira
It is understandable that quite a lot of Nigerians were dismayed at the negative publicity the ABC 20/20 report on the Nigerian scammer brought on otherwise upstanding Nigerians. Nigeria has once again attained the dubious tag as the world’s largest exporter of scam emails to the western world, each morning I am greeted by colleagues who spend the first five minutes laughing over the latest scam sent to their email. Most of them have never heard of web spiders, I have to take extra time explaining how scam artists obtain their addresses, it is a miracle I’m not yet looked upon as a scammer afterall in their eyes I’m just another Nigerian.

However while everyone is focused on the petty internet scammers, we tend to forget that the real scam artists are not necessarily seating in internet cafes, they do not need to seek for greedy Americans to con. They con us every day with their lies, greed and disdain for the rule of law. They are the ultimate scammers, deceiving us with empty promises, abandoned projects, non-implemented budgets and ghost programmes.
Once again the scammers are back, trying to con us into sending them back to office to once again fleece us of our hard earned public treasury. Oddly it is this same people that are condemning corruption the loudest.

Under the guise of the BPE they conned us out of our national property, selling off our prized national assets to themselves and their cronies. Without our consent, they are presently zoning portions of the public treasury to themselves. They serve their pockets in the name of serving us, each time appropriating the name of “God” to legitimize their continued assault on our collective wealth. These scam artists are “heroes” among us, they award themselves with fraudulent certificates in a yearly charade called national “honors”, chieftaincy titles are sold to the highest bidder and thieves now reign supreme at the head of our government.

Here is the ultimate scammers version of I go chop your dollar

National Airport we don sell am
National Stadium we don abandon am
President na my godfather
You be the mugu, I be the master
masses I go chop your naira, I go take your money dissapear
politics is just a game, you are the loser I am the winner
The refinery na we buy am,The contract, na my mother I go give
But i go steal your money make I give am

you be the mugu, I be the master… na me be the master ooo!!!!
 
posted by david at 1:19 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 3 comments
Friday, December 08, 2006
chopping some dollars and remembering Naija
i love nigeria, i miss everything about Nigeria. Interestingly as i watch the ABC 20/20 report on Nigerian scammers, i am not angry. Eerily i do not feel ashamed to be recognised as being a fellow citizen with those who scam greedy American mugus. I am busy searching for the song "I go chop your dollar", well not that i'm going out tomorrow to start chopping someone's dollar. I can't believe Americans can be such mugu's, thanks to them Nkem Owoh is probably smiling to the banks now! So much for indirectly chopping their dollar.

i love Nigeria, its hard to imagine that a nation with some of the poorest people in the world can also be the nation of the happiest and warmest souls on earth. I miss the days studying by candle light, i miss trudging down to the borehole to get a bucket of water to take the once daily shower in college. Christmas is knocking at the door and every American is getting excited about christmas trees and costumes. I can only long for the days when dad would have bought his goat, my brothers and i feeding and patting it diligently as we hoped in vain to fatten it before christmas when we would kill our friend (always named mailee) and roast him dancing around a bonfire! Mom would cook the fat on her wood fire (the only time of the yr we got to get firewood smell on our clothes).

Nigeria may not be as beautiful as New York, but until you leave it you never know how blessed you are to have been a part of a melting pot of some of the world's most fascinating people. I miss the rusty old molues, i miss the crowd at oshodi, sweat grimed bodies glued to each other as they struggle to get on the fastest bus speeding perhaps on its last trip to the bowels of the lagoon. I miss the bad roads, i miss having to pay N20 at check points that are no more than police extortion posts. I miss the frustrations of NEPA, NITEL, corrupt politicians, election riggers and looters. I am condemned to watching home videos to keep in touch with Naija life while counting the days to when next i would see Lagos again. I miss having a good laugh over the nightly ritual of government endorsed lies on the NTA network, i miss the camaraderie and never-say-die attitude of the average Nigerian.

In Nigeria, no one cries over lack of drugs or absence of good healthcare, we have since learnt to "take our problems to God in prayer". We learn early from our mothers knees to preceed every road travel with a night vigil, each time we are reminded of the poor state of our economy, we are reminded that "the downfall of a man is not the end of his life". When we feel depressed, we are comforted as we "count our blessings and name them one by one". While looking for non-existent jobs, "God will make a way" is a song that is never far from our lips and for those who have climbed the ladder, may it be permanent!

As i'm writing this piece, i am reminded that i shall be looked upon with disdain at international airports anytime i flash my green passport. I no longer care, let them say whatever they like. I have never been prouder of my country, if they are not careful i will make sure i chop their dollar, i am the winner and they are the loser!!
 
posted by david at 11:30 PM ¤ Permalink ¤ 4 comments
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Baba Iyabo goes to school
At 69, Nigeria’s soon to be ex-president has matriculated as a distance learning student at the National Open University to study religious studies.
Baba is indeed putting those who reviled him for being an illiterate farmer to shame.
When Baba began the long walk from Yola prison to Aso Rock, he told us he was born again, indeed he claimed to have had a divine encounter with his creator in the solitude of his decrepit cell. We were hopeful, at last the fear of God would reign at the seat of power. Alas after almost 8 yrs in power, mammon indeed is firmly in charge at Aso villa.
Life as a student will be a new experience for Baba, he will have to learn to do assignments and take instructions from others, a thing he hasn’t done in 8 yrs. Fani-Kayode will no longer be there to abuse his teachers neither does he have the luxury of telling his vice-chancellor to shut up. There will be no presidential jets to classes and no helicopters to ferry him from his farm to school.
Baba has pledged to comply with all rules and regulations of the school, those of us more familiar with Baba’s antecedents are not so sure. From flagrant disregard of court orders, disobedience of the rule of law, refusal to implement provisions of the budget and accusations of extra-budgetary spending in defiance of legislative oversight, Baba’s teachers have their hands full with a stubborn pupil.
Baba will not be the only ex-president to tow the line of religious fervor outside of power, 33 yrs after he dragged us through a civil war, spent our external reserve paying salaries of Gambian civil servants, laid the foundation for graft and enthronement of mediocrity, Jack Gowon is still praying!
 
posted by david at 11:26 AM ¤ Permalink ¤ 1 comments